The University of Michigan Unveils DEI 2.0

If you’re still scratching your head, wondering, “What the hell is DEI?” I have great news for you! The sequel just dropped! U-M just launched their new “strategic five-year plan,” literally called “DEI 2.0,” without a shred of irony. How many meetings do you think it took to come up with that title?

Like most sequels, DEI 2.0 is worse than the original. Zero stars out of five.

If brevity is the soul of wit, academia sure loves being droll. They can’t say what they think, because hearing their thoughts summarized in plain English makes them sound so, so stupid. They have to cook up 60-plus-page pdfs of word salad, jargon, and gobbledygook to pulverize you into submission. A show of force so large and obtuse that you can’t possibly engage with its content.

Normal people will never read this entire document. The faculty won’t even read it, let alone the students. I doubt even half the DEI office read the whole thing. Maybe they wrote it in ChatGPT.