If you want to live forever, then register to vote in Jocelyn Benson’s Michigan.

Apparently, there are 16,666 people actively registered to vote who are over the age of 100 years old.

That’s more than the population of Grosse Pointe Woods.

The only problem is, the Social Security Administration shows there were only 2,119 centenarians alive in Michigan in 2023.

Now, I only went to public schools, but even I know simple math.

16,666 ≠ 2,119

Something stinks in the Great Lakes State.

Secretary of State Benson is a trained lawyer. She likely chose that profession because she is bad with numbers, but good at twisting words.

On the other hand, Elon Musk builds rocket ships because he’s good at math and science. Real science. Not political science.

So for whatever reason, Benson pitched an online cat fight with Musk—and got her own numbers wrong.

Earlier this week, Musk tweeted a simple question that can be answered with simple addition and subtraction:

“Michigan has more registered voters than eligible citizens? Is that true?” he wrote.

Benson fired back with customary histrionics:

“Let’s be clear: @ElonMusk is spreading dangerous disinformation. Here are the facts. There aren’t more voters than citizens in Michigan. There are 7.2 million active registered voters and 7.9 (million) citizens of voting age in our state. Musk is pushing a misleading number that includes 1.2 million inactive records slated for removal in accordance with the law. Don’t feed the trolls.”

It is the trolling secretary who is, in fact, incorrect. And her mathematical errors are many. First, her own website shows the number of inactive voters slated to be removed from the qualified voters list is only 600,000, not 1.2 million, as she claims.

Second, until they are removed, those “inactive” voters are still active by law, and at any rate, won’t be removed until after the election.

Third, there are not 7.9 million citizens of voting age in the state of Michigan. There are 7.9 million adults, not all of whom are legally allowed to vote. And there’s the rub. Sheesh.

It feels as though Benson considers herself the kaiser of the town square. Remember: She set up an election disinformation snitch line. She illegally instructed poll workers to disregard signature discrepancies. She attempted to ban firearms from polling stations. She tried to kick Dr. Cornell West off the ballot while keeping RFK Jr. on the ballot because this would ostensibly help Kamala Harris.

National Democrats—with the help of Benson—kicked in about a million dollars to get overseas citizens absentee ballots even if they’ve never lived in the U.S. Benson claims there are as many as 265,000 such persons living abroad.

The online form  for requesting and overseas absentee ballot is ludicrously simple. It requires no Social Security number, no valid state ID, no passport number, no next of kin. Just check the box swearing you are a citizen and she will email you a ballot. You then print the ballot, fill it in, and return it by snail mail. That’s it.

Curious, I filled one out as Sirhan Sirhan, DOB: 3/19/1944. Current address: Buckingham Palace. Family’s last known Michigan address: the dumpster near Detroit City Hall. That’s it. The website prompted me to electronically sign and press send. I assume the King’s footmen would have received my ballot.

I didn’t sign the affidavit. That would be illegal. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel may be an incompetent boob, but she is also famously vindictive.

For her part, Secretary Benson has made voting more confusing than easy during her six years in office. The election season now runs from two weeks before Election Day to six days after. Processing and tabulating the absentee ballots is now a full 8 days, making the process rife for skullduggery.

Of course it is illegal to illegally vote. But it’s also illegal to commit armed robbery, and people still do it.

I’m not claiming mass fraud is about to be perpetrated, but why is Benson giving the loons and baboons a reason to think so?

Michigan is not known as a hotbed of civic engagement. So how is it that we have a higher percentage of registered voters here than in Vermont? You know Vermont—where they speak French, post kilometers on their speed limit signs, forbid plastic bags, and vote for Bernie Sanders, the socialist Democrat.

They may have the Bern in the Green Mountain State, but we’ve got those 16,666 centenarians. 

I’ll say it again: If you want to live forever, then register to vote in Benson’s Michigan. But be warned: You may end up dying waiting for you vote to be counted.

Charlie LeDuff is a reporter educated in public schools.