“I’ll make a man out of you” isn’t something you want to hear from a family member. It typically means something bad is about to happen. But in my childhood, I was blessed with a number of “Dutch Uncles”: men who understood that their role was to guide young men. They wanted me to become a strong, confident, and humble man who kept his word and faced challenges head-on. Some were true uncles, but some were friends of my dad, who became uncles through their care for me.

These guys all came to deer camp, which was as much about making men as it was about harvesting deer. Deer camp is a right of passage, where boys become men.

Rifle season for deer in Michigan is only two weeks long. Time is precious. Ever since I was 13, I’ve been going to deer camp for opening day. For me, deer camp is 80 acres of old family land in Big Rapids. It’s been in my family for four generations, and I’ve been spending every Nov. 15 there since I was a boy. 

There, I would spend time with a cast of characters, from my great grandfather to my crazy uncles, to friends, cousins, and other men who loved hunting and the outdoors. Some were physical laborers, some were college professors, many of them were retired. But we all had something in common that bound us all together: We were men who loved hunting.

As a boy, I watched on as men in camp prepared food and then talked about where they sat, what they saw, and debated about where they would go the next morning. But they also discussed deep issues of faith, family, patriotism, and global events. They rehashed the same old hunting jokes retold annually, but it was often serious men talking about serious things.

At deer camp, there aren’t any screens or distractions, and young men aren’t treated as children. They are expected to be tough, to clean up after themselves, to contribute, to not bitch, and, most of all, to become one of the guys. That means telling stories and even busting each other’s balls a bit.

My first experience in deer camp as a boy was a bit of a shock. I got to see my father and many of my older relatives away from their typical roles. I got to see them as men.

I also learned some of the harsh realities of what it’s like to be a man around other men. If you had an excuse, didn’t contribute, or were loud, annoying, or unpleasant to be around, you’d get called an idiot, or a girl, or a terrible hunter, or a whole bunch of other creative names I probably shouldn’t mention here.

They weren’t doing it to be cruel. Dutch Uncles do this because they care about you.

During my first few deer camps, I had a horrible habit of leaving my deer stand early, out of pure boredom. I didn’t have a watch or a cell phone, so it was tough to tell what time it was, and I figured I must have been out for four hours by the time I headed back to camp. I came in only to realize that it was 8:45 a.m., and it had hardly been daylight for an hour and a half. As people started to come back to camp and realized I had been there for a while, the nicknames and teasing started.

Why was this important? Because to be a good hunter and a good man, you need to be patient and tough. I had gotten cold and bored, so I left. Good men don’t do that. I had broken a cardinal rule, and my fellow hunters made sure I knew it and still remind me of it sometimes for good measure. Now that I have younger relatives, I do the same thing for them.

Not every man has to be a stereotypical “alpha man,” but there are serious realities about life that each man must face. And without guidance from other men, we are setting up a generation of men who are completely unprepared for life.

You’ve probably seen the meme: “Hard times make hard men, hard men make good times, good times make soft men, soft men make hard times.” We are living in an era where we have a generation with a lot of soft men. If we want to avoid hard times, we better find a way to create men.

Deer camp is a way to simulate hard times, without the dangers of actual hard times. It offers lessons from the teasing and admonishment of other men, but without the real-world consequences. If you do deer camp poorly, you are teased and don’t get any deer. If you do it properly, you make lifelong friends, memories, and maybe even a buck to hang on the wall. But that’s not all. If you do deer camp properly, you also gain the valuable skills required to be a good man.

Our society needs more young men in deer camp. And maybe a few Dutch Uncles.

Tom Zandstra is a passionate outdoorsman and CEO of The Fair Chase. Follow him on X @TheFairChase1.