Muskegon — So you want to go to Chicago? Maybe you’re thinking of heading farther west? Perhaps you’ve been wanting to spend a little time in Wisconsin, Minnesota, or any number of states beyond our sandy shores. That’s a fine idea, but if that’s what you’re planning, you better prepare yourself, because you’re heading straight into transportation hell.
Crossing over into Indiana on I-94 means descending into a dystopian nightmare. Not long after you leave our beloved state, things take a sour turn. The billboards start coming faster and thicker. Casinos, lawyers, strip clubs, addiction counseling. An overwhelming sense of cheap vulgarity washes over you as you barrel into the wasteland.
The sky begins to turn an eerie shade, the plants and factories around Hammond and Gary puke foul steam into the atmosphere. The road gets bad, traffic slows. You’re stuck and lock the doors. Arguments break out in the car. Normally loving spouses are now aiming for the jugular and it’s getting worse by the moment.
People tend to cite Breezewood, Pennsylvania, as a depressing example of roadside America, but Breeezewood is an oasis compared with what we Michiganders endure heading through Indiana toward Chicago.
But what if I told you there’s another way? A way of beauty and serenity, a route safe from the vulgarities of I-94. No, I don’t mean driving west through the U.P. on US-2, though that is a nice drive. The most beautiful way out of Michigan doesn’t involve rubber on concrete, but rather a steel hull on fresh water.
Without question, the best way out is on the Lake Express, the high-speed ferry connecting Muskegon and Milwaukee. The boat runs from the beginning of May to the middle of October with multiple trips each way, every day. A one-way ticket across the lake is $114.50, and a car costs $124. If you want out of the nightmare of I-94 in Indiana, you’ve got to pay your way, and $250 is the price.
I’ve taken a bunch of ferries on the Great Lakes. I’ve ridden Shepler’s to Mackinac Island, the Emerald Isle to Beaver Island, the Ranger III out to Isle Royale, and the Badger from Ludington to Manitowoc, and I’ve got to say the $250 ticket allowing safe escape from I-94 is more than worth it.
The Lake Express is, first and foremost, comfortable. The seats have ample legroom and pull-down tray tables. There’s a kitchen onboard serving sandwiches, chips, small pizzas, pop, and even beer. Cell service dies pretty quickly out in the lake, but there’s wifi available if you pay a little extra. The boat is spacious and relaxed. It’s easy to meander around unobtrusively.
The back deck is great. There’s a line of chairs where you can sit and watch the sandy coast fade into the distance on your way west. The top deck is intense. The Lake Express is fast, and it only takes two-and-a-half hours to get from Muskegon to Milwaukee. The wind is strong and invigorating on top. There are a few chairs where you can sit and watch the shimmering water as deafening wind blasts your face. A peculiar cocktail, equal parts beauty and intensity.
Getting out in the big lake is wonderful. Regrettably, few Michiganders ever do it. They see that long blue banana on Google Maps but never venture across it. They never see the clear water all around on a summer’s day, no land in sight, no other boat nearby. It’s a wonderful, freeing feeling to be out there in the middle of the Big Lake.
There used to be so many boats, ferries, and steamships in Lake Michigan. They would take passengers all over. There were many long trips, and the accommodations were often quite nice. They knew it was going to take a while to get to where they were going, so might as well enjoy the ride. Those were the old days and the old ways.
Our world has changed since then. Excluding the rise and fall of the Concorde, it seems that we have basically managed to find faster ways to get where we are going, while being generally less comfortable on our way there.
Our cars go so fast, but we are crammed in like sardines. We’ve got incredible freeways, but they are often hideous. We don’t stop to eat at restaurants, we get fast food and then spill ketchup on our pants while trying to eat, drive, and scream at the guy in front of us to pick up the pace. We’ve got places to go!
We can slow down and have a better experience or go fast with a worse one. Those are, basically, the two options we’ve got. For some reason, we can’t seem to have it all, so we’ve got to choose one, and for the time being, our civilization has essentially settled on speed with misery.
We can’t turn the civilizational tide by ourselves. I-94 in Indiana is still going to be a cursed concrete bridge over the fires of the netherworld, and travel will most likely still, in general, remain unpleasant. But we can choose our own path when we have the chance.
Opting for the Lake Express instead of I-94 is choosing enjoyment over anxiety, beauty over ugliness, heaven over hell.
O.W. Root is a writer based in Northern Michigan, with a focus on nature, food, style, and culture. Follow him on X @NecktieSalvage.
