The Michigan DNR says it will continue with its plans to round up Canada geese and kill them with carbon dioxide gas, despite the protests of animal lovers who plead, “Don’t gas geese!”
To hear the animal welfare crowd tell it, no one wants a Canada goose to die—but I wouldn’t mind. I think we should be culling the rats of the sky or sending them back from whence they came.
In Defense of Animals, a California animal welfare organization, has a National Goose Protection Coalition, which is a “network of individuals and organizations dedicated to ending lethal goose roundups and promoting humane coexistence strategies.”
In Defense of Animals put up a billboard off I-96 near Wixom Road earlier this month, begging Gov. Gretchen Whitmer to spare the geese from the lethal gas.
The billboard features a Canada goose with some fluffy (but still ugly) chicks under its wings.
“Our powerful billboard sends a clear message,” Lisa Levinson, campaigns director for the activist group said. “Michiganders do not support the cruel gassing of geese.”
Now while I wouldn’t presume to speak on behalf of the entire state, I suspect I’m not the only one who wouldn’t mind the mitigation efforts.
In fact, the DNR says the Canada Goose Program was developed to give landowners “options to address goose-human conflicts on their sites”—a fighting chance for sanity and freedom from green turds.
My vendetta started in college. I was running toward a park, and near a massive puddle on the right side of the street were two Canada geese.
I said a friendly hello, and then the male goose honked back, hissed, and then started to chase me down the street.
I looked back and vowed my undying hatred for their ilk.
The DNR says the lethal option will be the last resort. It recommends using deterrents like screamers, bird alarms, bird bangers, rockets, and distress cries.
People can also use plastic flags, waterfront fencing, and—for those of us with more money and geese than they know what to do with—laser deterrents.
Dogs are also an effective way to chase geese away from property, the DNR notes. After such control methods are exhausted, landowners can get a permit to destroy eggs and nests.
The DNR says that by destroying their nests and eggs, Canada geese will go north on a “molt migration.” When you destroy a goose’s nest, it will fly north out of instinct where it will grow new flight feathers.
Researchers have found that 80% of female Canada geese who had their nests destroyed in southern Michigan migrated to Canada to grow new feathers.
The DNR has changed positions on capturing and relocating geese due to recent bird flu outbreaks. Also, unsurprisingly, shifting the geese from place to place didn’t actually fix the problem that there are too many geese.
The state estimates the Canada goose population can be over 300,000. The target population is between 175,000 and 225,000, the DNR said in a memo last year.
Hunting is the main way the state limits the population, but those who want to rid the world of the foul fowl will have to wait. Goose season starts in September and extends in some places until February.
For those who who would like to taste their victory, the meat is reported to be good, like gamey, lean beef.
The DNR says it hopes to donate the meat from the euthanized geese. Until someone steps forward to take the meat, however, the dead geese will be discarded in the trash.
Landowners are still required to get a permit to kill the geese terrorizing them and pooping all over the place. That’s because the U.S. signed a treaty in 1916 to protect migratory birds, including the Canada goose.
It’s time to get creative with Canada’s geese. Maybe the animal welfare folks drive them across the border, back to their homeland. Canada can keep them.
Or maybe it’s time for the U.S. to back out of the deal on this one troublesome bird and give homeowners and businesses the ability to take action.
Brendan Clarey is deputy editor of Michigan Enjoyer.
