Jocelyn Benson Drops a High-Speed Rail Turd

When you’re a candidate in an election year and have no real ideas, you throw a turd in the water to see if it floats.

And so it went with gubernatorial hopeful Jocelyn Benson last week when she floated a 47-second Instagram clip promising the people of Michigan high-speed trains. Predictably, partisans snapped at this turd as if it were a chocolate eclair.

But high-speed trains will never come. We don’t need them. And we can’t afford them.

First, let’s do math.

Not counting California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s boondoggle lying on the floor of the San Joaquin Desert, there are no high-speed rail lines in the U.S., except for the Acela that connects New York to Washington, D.C. The price of tickets for the Acela is four times greater than a standard snail train.

Apply that multiplier to a Detroit-Chicago roundtrip "low-speed" train, where the average price today is around $200. That would mean that an imagined high-speed train ticket would cost about $800.

Now consider that the same car trip to the Windy City and back currently costs $100 with gas at $4 a gallon.

So, two couples taking a weekend trip to Chicago by car would cost $100. The same couple taking the imaginary high-speed rail would pay $3,200, not including parking and taxis. That math don’t math.

Now, some accounting. For decades, Michigan has been stripped by giant corporations, big unions, pinheaded politicos, and dipsticks of the technical class. In short, we don’t have the bread for an imaginary train. And even if we did, there are a mountain of other priorities that need addressing.

Consider in Whitmer’s eight years:

Our Roads Aren’t Fixed

Our roads, electric grid, sewers, and drinking water are graded among the worst and most expensive infrastructure systems in the country. Meanwhile, Canada continues to dump its industrial garbage in our landfills at the cheapest rates in America. And don’t forget, Detroit will need upward of $100 million to clean up its poisoned demolition holes.

Our Adults Can’t Count

The federal government is demanding to see our records for Medicaid, food stamps, and Unemployment Insurance reimbursements. The state, naturally, is resisting an actuarial assessment of its potential fraud and incompetence.

Our Kids Can’t Read

Michigan’s children have fallen near the bottom nationwide in reading and math proficiency. Detroit’s school system is ranked the worst of any urban district in America.

No Good Jobs

Whitmer has doled out billions in corporate welfare in exchange for the “good paying jobs” of the future. But those promised jobs have not materialized. Worse, Michigan has lost nearly 10% of its auto-related jobs since Whitmer took office. The unemployment rate in the Great Lakes State is in the top 10 nationally while our economic growth is in the bottom 10.

Our People Are Leaving

Politicians and their press poodles bark about Michigan’s sudden population growth. But that’s just a statistical mirage. The U.S Census Bureau simply changed the way it estimates population back in 2024. If we calculate population today with the old pre-2024 method, Michigan actually lost 2,000 residents last year.

Our Cities Are Dangerous

In some surveys, Michigan has seven of the most violent and dangerous cities in America: Detroit, Flint, Saginaw, Kalamazoo, Lansing, Jackson, and Battle Creek. You know we’ve got problems when Cleveland becomes a preferred destination.

I could go on, but it doesn’t take an engineer.

If we’re going to dream for the impossible, my daughter suggests a herd of KittyKat-Unicorns. After all, Kitty-Corns can fly. They’re really cute. And they fart stardust and rainbows.

Remember my fellow Michiganders: Vote and vote often.