Ope or Nope

Nope: Spirit Halloween

Skip this cheap seasonal retailer of plastic junk this Halloween.

spirit halloween

Ope: Cuffing Season

It’s getting chilly out there Michiganders, time to cozy up to someone special this winter.

cuffing season

Nope: Situationships

We’re done with these casual, no commitment flings… Michiganders deserve true love.

situationship

Ope: Bobbing for Apples

When’s the last time you dunked your head in a bucket of cold water and grabbed an apple with your teeth?

bobbing for apples

Nope: Donut Lines

Who even invented this? No one has ever had fun trying to bite a donut off a rope.

donut line

Ope: Isaac TeSlaa

Our favorite local boy from Hudsonville.

isaac teslaa

Nope: Jameson Williams

Needs to focus on catching passes, not his endzone celebrations.

jameson williams

Ope: Pants

We’re so glad it’s pants season again and we can finally flex our wardrobe.

pants

Nope: Shorts

Nothing worse than summer heat and swamp ass in a pair of khaki shorts.

shorts

Ope: Midwest Emo

There’s no better genre of music for Fall in the midwest.

midwest emo

Nope: The Life of a Showgirl

Taylor’s new album is a major flop.

the life of a showgirl

Ope: Crew Cut

Sources are telling us that the next male haircut trend will return to a military aesthetic, high and tight.

crew cut

Nope: Mullet

We’ve reached peak mullet, and the trend is now on the downslope.

mullet

Ope: Homegrown Weed

If you’re gonna smoke it, this is the way to go. Way more mellow than dispensary gasoline strains.

homegrown weed

Nope: Dispensary Weed

Way too potent, this stuff is rocket fuel now. Guaranteed to make you green out.

dispensary weed

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Gravy Mix

Gravy Mix

No gravy from a box can ever compare to good gravy made from scratch.

Apple Pie

Apple Pie

No pie is more American than apple pie, especially when it’s homemade.

Pumpkin Pie

Pumpkin Pie

We respect tradition, but really, there’s a reason people only eat it at thanksgiving.

Tractor Mowers

Tractor Mowers

The biggest lawnmower flex is needing a tractor to pull it.

Robot Mowers

Robot Mowers

We don’t trust these clankers not to run over rocks, or your neighbor’s dog.

Protein Powder

Protein Powder

State legislators want to ban protein powder from teenage bodybuilders, and we won’t have it.

Puberty Blockers

Puberty Blockers

They’ll give this junk to kids, but want to ban protein powder? What a joke.