It doesn’t take a peer-reviewed study on EMFs to determine that AirPods are not cool. The battery life is awful and no matter how normalized they are, they look stupid.

Be an adult and stop complaining about wires being uncomfortable.

Compare them with the other regional cult-status corn dog, the Fletcher’s Corny Dog at the State Fair of Texas. What sets the Pronto Pup apart is its uniquely low batter-to-meat ratio. The Texas corny dog is wieldy and difficult to eat. The Pronto Pup is the embodiment of Midwestern engineering and pragmatism. A vastly more enjoyable dish.