Detroit Got Poisoned, But They're Opening a Case Against Me

Southfield — Flint got poisoned, but nobody did a single day in jail.

People got sick—and some died—from water fed to them from a river famously polluted with car batteries and corpses.

And the hogs responsible for that calamity? They're laughing it up somewhere over a Porterhouse and a glass of Bordeaux.

Now it’s the people of Southfield who may be the latest victims of a mass poisoning. This time it’s toxic dirt.

Will anyone get charged for that? So far, I seem to be the only person who has caught a case.

It’s no secret that the FBI has opened a book on former Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan and his demolition program. Authorities allege that Duggan’s handpicked contractor was allowed to run wild, throwing contaminated soil too toxic for human touch into holes where houses once stood and charging big bucks for it.

Where did Duggan’s contractor get this dirt? Investigators say that least some of it came from Southfield. Specifically, from the old Northland Mall site that has been under redevelopment for the better part of a decade. The dirt there was supposed to go to a landfill. Instead, it was used to fill people’s pockets.

No one seems to be digging into the Southfield side of things. Not as far as I know. Not the feds. Not the EPA. Not the attorney general. Not the state environmental regulators. Not even the newspapers, even though Northland site still has mountains of dirt blowing all over the community.

I called the Southfield Police Department to check up on the status of the complaint I filed a few weeks ago—for crimes against humanity.

That case is going nowhere, a detective told me.

I was informed, however, that a case has been opened up on me. Trespassing. The police department even put two detectives on the case. According to the complaint filed by the developer “there has been ongoing trespassing issues with Charlie LeDuff… one of which he recorded a YouTube video while on the property.”

The developer, Contour Companies Vice President Dave Dedvukaj, further stated: “It is unknown where LeDuff is making his entry.”

Simple. Through the open gates near the unfinished offices of the unfinished condominium block where a curious member of the public might inquire about purchasing an unfinished condo surrounded by contaminated dirt.

Imagine that. We are a year into this scandal, and I’m the only one who’s caught some legal paperwork.

The whole episode is so cockamamie that I brought along Joe Demarco to the Southfield Police Department this week to act as my representative as I surrendered myself to the authorities.

Demarco does not have a law degree, but he does own a shabby chicken costume and possesses a certificate of completion from the Specs Howard School of Media Arts.

I figure this at least qualifies Demarco as a legitimate alternative to the current mayor of Southfield, Ken Siver.

I promised the detective I would keep myself to the sidewalk. But also I promise the people of Detroit and Southfield I'll get to the bottom of things.

The people of Flint deserve my apology. I didn't do enough.

That won't happen again.