Harrison Township – If you’re an illegal migrant being detained by American authorities, then Selfridge Air National Guard Base might be a wonderful place to say goodbye.
As Trump plans to “unleash America’s law enforcement to pursue criminals,” the question becomes obvious: Where will we put hundreds of thousands of detainees while they await their due process? In Michigan, one facility under consideration is Selfridge, administration officials tell me.
Curious, I took a recent tour of the 3,600-acre base located in northern Macomb County. My findings? I couldn’t think of a grander place to await a deportation hearing.
First of all, it has convenient one-stop shopping for a guy accused of belonging to an international crime syndicate. Selfridge is home not only to the five branches of the military but also to ICE, Border Patrol, and the FBI, which can help with translation services.
The complex has sprawling green vistas, fresh lake breezes, a waterfront view, and an 18-hole golf course.
There are many day-laboring opportunities as well. Acres upon acres of lawn to mow. An administration building in need of a fresh coat of paint. A shoe-shine box in the lobby of the Officers Club. Or a guy could chase geese off the mile-long runway, or maybe even carry the golf bag for one of the base’s big hitters. Word is, the general is a fabulous tipper.
Housing possibilities include the gorgeous but abandoned officers’ quarters. The streets there are lined with oak and sycamore. The homes are of the Georgian and Greek Revival styles with columned porticos and brick fireplaces, where a man far from home might warm himself on some hoary afternoon.
Either that, or a massive tent city could be erected to house migrants like they did at Brooklyn’s decommissioned Floyd Bennett Field. The climate-controlled tents could be pitched on any number of the green glades bordering Lake St. Clair, which also includes an inspiring view of Canada. Recreational opportunities might include frisbee golf and beach casting. Hey, the walleye are running!
There is a quaint little museum on the airbase, where one can learn all about the Tuskegee Airmen and admire all the mothballed war machines that dropped bombs on many of the countries the deportees would be returning to.
Hungry? No problem! With the pocket money earned polishing the general’s cleats, a peckish man might order himself some food from one of the copious restaurants just outside the base gates, including Chipotle, Panda Express, and the world-renowned Bob Evans.
Craving a light, late-night nibble? There is a gas station and a liquor store on the base stocked with snack cakes, soda pop, and jerky sticks.
Best of all? Once his legal papers are in order, a C-37 will be idling outside the deportee’s front door waiting to take him home.
And if the thought of a long flight makes him queasy? Perhaps arrangements can be made with the newly elected prime minister of Canada. It’s just a short ferry ride away.
Charlie LeDuff is a reporter educated in public schools. Follow him on X @Charlieleduff.
