Annex the Apostle Islands

Madeline Island, Wisconsin — There are 420 islands within our hallowed Michigan territory. Did you know that? Probably not. When you think islands in the Great Lakes you probably only think of Mackinac. It’s understandable, but wrong. We’ve got all sorts of islands in Lake Michigan, Lake Superior, Lake Huron, and Lake Erie. Big ones, small ones, fancy ones, rural ones, ones with cars, ones without cars, private ones, public ones, and uninhabited ones. I guess we are somewhat of an island state.

Of course, we shouldn’t be so self-absorbed, thinking we are the only state with Great Lake islands. Ohio has a few, New York as well, Ontario has a bunch, and Wisconsin does too. The dairy state to our west claims a few islands north of the Door Peninsula, leading like a trail to the southern tip of our Garden Peninsula. They also have the Apostle Islands, a collection of 22 islands in Lake Superior.

And what happens there on those islands lying beyond the northern tip of Wisconsin sandwiched between Michigan and Minnesota? Are they beautiful? Are they glorious and aesthetically pleasing like Mackinac Island? Are they wilderness? Or are they kind of unfulfilled afterthoughts for a state more known for farming than swimming?

It’s a long way to Bayfield, Wisconsin. It’s about six and a half hours from the Mackinac Bridge and about 10 hours from Detroit. Bayfield itself is a fine town. It feels a little like the kind of lake towns you might find in Michigan but just a little less quaint or nautical.

The ferry to Madeline Island is efficient. We came down Washington Avenue about six minutes before the 3 p.m. departure, paid our tickets and our car’s ticket, waited in line, pulled up onto the ship, and left the mainland about 10 minutes later. I was actually surprised we didn’t need a reservation for the car and that we didn’t have to wait for a later ferry. It was easy on, easy off.

The ferry lands in La Pointe (pop. 428), the only bonafide town on any of the islands. The rest of the Apostle Islands are owned by the government and are not open for private or commercial development. We needed something to eat once we arrived so we stopped at the Beach Club next to the dock and the post office. It was fine, I guess, but that’s about it. Mackinac Island has the Pink Pony right next to the docks and it’s not just fine; it’s quite good. I hate to compare things in such blunt terms, but it must be done for the sake of truth.

So we sat there, eating our sandwiches and salads, sitting out by the water listening to people talk. Based on the conversations they were from Chicago and southern Wisconsin. It’s hard to explain the difference between this type and our type, but there is a difference.

After we finished a very late lunch, we got in the car and drove around the island a bit. Like any other place on Lake Superior there are houses on the shore, some off in the woods, and some sandy areas where people were sitting on the beach, though not many. Based on what I saw on a Tuesday afternoon in July, Madeline Island isn’t really much of a beach destination. Kayaking and canoeing seem to be a big thing, but beach culture doesn’t seem to thrive.

Big Bay State Park is on the southeast side of the island. There’s camping there and beach access as well. We paid the out-of-state fee, parked, put our swimsuits on in the car, and walked down the wooden stairs to the beach on Big Bay.

It’s a long sandy beach that curves like a clean C facing north. The waves are tempered and small in the protected cove. It feels like a Lake Superior beach in terms of sand color and the terrain on the edges of the swimming area. Reddish earth, knotted trees, and big rocks; untamed. The beach is shallow and a bit rocky in places. It’s an alright beach but I wouldn’t want to swim there all the time.

After leaving Big Bay we drove around the rest of the island taking account of who seems to live here in the summers. There are more rural homes and fewer vacation homes, though of course there are those too. There are more hippy homes and crunchy homesteads than we see on our islands in Michigan. These are also present in the U.P., though with quite a bit less potency. As to why this (hippy crunchy homesteads that feel more Berkley than Bark River) is a thing this far north on the northern edge the United States is a story for another time.

There’s a golf course on the island and a small airport for private planes, and that’s about it. Coming back into La Pointe we realized it doesn’t really have much other than the post office, a couple places to eat, an ice cream shop, some tourist shops, and this place called “Tom’s Burned Down Cafe,” which basically looks like a junkyard hovel with a bunch of left-wing paraphernalia and Free Palestine stuff outside. We don’t really have that kind of stuff on our islands.

So what’s the verdict on Madeline Island?

Unimpressive. I hate to say it, but it’s the cold hard truth. It doesn’t have any of the beauty or luxury of Mackinac Island and it doesn’t really have the feeling of distance or ruggedness of Beaver Island. And it’s not that those are the only two kinds of Great Lake islands worth having, but it just kind of feels like a place Wisconsin doesn’t really care about that much. The culture that doesn’t really feel different from the mainland.

The beaches aren’t that great, the vibes aren’t that special, and it barely feels like you are on an island. We Michiganders aren’t really missing much. The other Apostle Islands are beautiful to tour by boat, but that says little about Wisconsin or human civilization and more about God and his creation.

Madeline Island is fine, but that’s it. I’m sure people have been visiting Madeline Island for generations and have treasured memories there. I’m sure families have a wonderful vacations at the state park. I don’t mean to besmirch the good people of Ashland County, Wisconsin, and I know if any of them read this they will protest my characterizations, but the truth is that Madeline Island could be much greater than it currently is.

It might not ever be able to capture that hard-to-reach feeling Beaver Island has. That only comes with actually being hard to reach. But it could have the luxury and immaculate vibes of Mackinac or something similar. Just off the mainland, just separate enough to be something else, and with an elevated aesthetic and sensibility which makes people want to be in another world. Or it could, in some way, just feel like it’s somewhere special.

But it will never happen under the current status quo. Wisconsin, for whatever reason, can’t really do islands. Michigan is the only truly aquatic state in the Midwest and it’s up to us, at a future date yet to be determined, to annex the Apostle Islands for the sake of themselves (the people will greet us as liberators) and help them realize their full potential as a great Lake Superior archipelago.

Don’t worry, I’m just joking, kind of.