Detroit — Chris Ilitch is a bum.
The tightwad owner of the Detroit Tigers wouldn’t pay for a professional hitter or a competent pitcher at the trading deadline, and now the club is out of the playoffs.
I hear some armchair analysts claiming Ilitch has, in fact, spent money to improve the club. But that’s just not true.
The numbers:
The last time the Tigers made it to the World Series was in 2012 when Ilitch’s father, Mike, was guiding the club and spending whatever it took to win a championship. Back then, the Tigers had the fifth-highest opening day payroll in major league baseball. Adjusted for inflation, that payroll was $190 million in today’s dollars.
This year’s opening day payroll was $138 million, ranking 17th in the major leagues. That is a 27% cut over 13 years.
Over that same time period—again adjusted for inflation—the average MLB payroll increased 47%.
See where I’m going with this? Chrissy is a skinflint.
Ilitch took full control of the club in 2017, following the death of his father, who was laid to rest in a million-dollar suburban mausoleum built with Sierra White granite imported from California. (Michigan has granite, why not buy locally?)
Since Chrissy took the reins, the Tigers’ record is a combined 592-761, the sixth worst in baseball.
See where I’m going with this? Chrissy is a penny pincher.
And when his staff is given the greenlight to spend some money, the baseball decisions are bush league. This past offseason, the Tigers spent $15 million on a pitcher who never made the club. Another $20 million for a pitcher who finished this season with an 8-15 record. And an additional $7.5 million for a closer with a 4.43 ERA.
Most galling of all are the welfare checks Ilitch sucks from Detroit, the poorest big city in America. The Ilitch family is fantastically wealthy. Little Caesars Pizza, Inc. is valued at $7 billion. The Motor City Casino pulls in more than $385 million a year. The Detroit Red Wings are valued at $2.5 billion. And the Tigers’ estimated value is $1.5 billion.
The thing about the Tigers and Red Wings, however, is that their total worth includes the value of the stadiums where they play, both of which are paid for and owned by the public. Ilitch pays $1 a year to “lease” the publicly financed stadiums but keeps all the revenue from the beer, pizza, jersey and ticket sales. The bond payments for Little Caesars Arena are more than $20 million a year for the next 30 years. That’s enough to keep Skubal around.
See where I’m going with this? Ilitch is a mooch. No professional sports owner siphons more out of his community than Chrissy Icehole.
We deserve a winner in Detroit. A decent beer at a decent price. A hot dog that’s actually edible. And a stadium with a place to smoke a cigarette. But we’re not gonna get any of that with Ilitch.
Sell the club, you bum.
Charlie LeDuff is a reporter educated in public schools. Follow him on X @Charlieleduff.
