When I went to college in Ann Arbor, a gram of magic mushrooms cost five bucks.
These days—what with the Chinese Communist Party having infiltrated the research laboratory at the University of Michigan—exotic fungi could cost all of us our lives.
Three Chinese researchers were recently charged with attempting to smuggle toxic plant fungus into Detroit Metro Airport. If tweaked the right way, that fungus could be weaponized to devastate crops across the country. Now Congress wants to know what the university knew about the researchers, if it knew anything at all.
“The university has no incentive to vet these foreign nationals as required by law,” said Rep. Tim Walberg, chairman of the House Committee on Education and the Workforce. “It makes a lot of money off the research and China pays the tuition.”
What’s more, congressional committees have found that the smugglers were working under the supervision of two Michigan professors who also have extensive ties to the Chinese Communist Party. Their work over the years has been funded with nearly $10 million in federal grants.
“It’s been an issue for many, many years,” said Andy Arena, former chief of the FBI’s counterterrorism operations. “The Chinese government is not our friend. The university turned a blind eye to it in pursuit of profit. They need to wake up.”
So now we have a little Wuhan on the Huron River, all in the name of profit. I studied political science at Michigan, so I feel qualified to offer this scientific equation:
Federal grants + Foreign grants + Out-of-State tuition = BIG MONEY
Not only has the university’s lust for lucre imperiled the people of America, it has prioritized the money of outsiders over the education of young people who are actually from Michigan. Consider the makeup of the incoming student body at other excellent public universities. The proportion of students who are actually residents of that state:
University of Texas at Austin: 90%
University of Florida: 88%
University of California, Berkeley: 85%
Michigan State University: 78%
And the University of Michigan? 52% (17% of the student body are foreign nationals).
What gives?
Greed.
Consider that tuition at Michigan is $43,000 more for out-of-state students than it is for kids who actually come from the Wolverine State. And remember, U-M has a $19 billion endowment, one of the largest of any public university in the country.
They might be book smart in Ann Arbor, but the adults who administer the place are world stupid. There are the bio-weapons researchers for one, then there are the five Chinese exchange students who got caught in 2023 filming—in the dead of night—a joint military operation between the U.S. and Taiwanese militaries at Camp Grayling. Their current whereabouts are unknown.
Then there is the Chinese undergrad who used his Michigan student ID to register to vote in the 2024 presidential election. The “student” was later charged with election offenses and forced to surrender his passport. Not to worry, the guy slipped out of the country using a second passport.
Over the past dozen years, the University of Michigan has been a sordid swamp of sexual, sporting, and now spying scandals. In that time, there have been five university presidents, three head football coaches, and a nearly half-billion-dollar abuse settlement.
The constant through it all has been Mark Bernstein, vice-chair of the Board of Regents and noted slip-and-fall lawyer. An attempt to leave a message with Bernstein’s law firm (1-800-Call-Sam) proved unsuccessful.
Who knows how compromised the university has become with corporate kleptocrats and communist spies? Let’s hope Congress gets to the bottom of the mess in Ann Arbor before we’re all forced to bend over and kiss our asses zai jian.
Charlie LeDuff is a reporter educated in public schools. Follow him on X @Charlieleduff.
